The Silent Battle: PTSD’s Impact on Veterans Spouses and Families

By Fedor Volochtchik, Veteran and Master’s of Counselling Student

Military and OSI

Operational Stress Injury (OSI) also known as PTSD, is a common consequence of military service due to deployment, stress, and combat exposure. Its symptoms include: intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, emotional numbing, interpersonal withdrawal, and hyper-vigilance which are often comorbid with depression, anxiety, substance abuse, violence, and self-harm.

While the military member is usually the focus of treatment what is often forgotten is the impact that military service has on the member’s spouse and family including: their relationships, intimacy, emotional connection, functionality, and future consequences.

Considering the unique nature of the military family it is thus vital to reflect on the total effect of OSI’s on each member of the family, especially when it comes to treatment. As soldiers work through the challenges of living and healing from OSI’s their partners are no less affected and may often face these difficulties without appropriate support (Newell, 2012).

Emotional and Psychological Impact on Spouses

Any military spouse living with a member with untreated OSI will recognize the strains that OSI’s put on their immediate relationship and family functioning. What makes matters worse is being unable to find the right answers to help their partners in healing which often happens when members isolate and withdraw emotionally at home. Adding to this is the unpredictability of the member’s behaviour and emotional deregulation as they move between numbness and apathy to anger and violent outbursts creating a relationship minified navigated by trial and error.

Such conditions make the military member’s spouse themselves prone to anxiety and depression when unable to relieve their loved one’s suffering while losing hope in returning their relationship to their pre-OSI status. Partners may even develop their own symptoms of OSI in the phenomenon of secondary trauma or “shared PTSD”, as they begin to strongly identify with their spouse and become attuned to the trauma cues in their own lives. As the military member’s partner begins to be traumatized by the experience of living with their loved one’s OSI they too may develop similar behavioural symptoms, emotional deregulation, and harmful coping techniques such as substance abuse or self-harm (Galovsky & Lyons, 2004).

Effects on Marital Satisfaction and Relationship Dynamics

The member’s OSI further impacts both their and their partner’s marital satisfaction and erodes their relationship’s health. The intimacy and connection that brought the two together is now severed through the member’s avoidance and isolation, emotional numbing, dissociation, and lack of interest in their past roles and activities. Growing hostility, harmful coping habits, and lack of communication or self-disclosure further pull partners apart as growing feeling of shame and guilt create and apparent lack of hope for the future. This develops into depression, frustration, isolation and harmful coping strategies for the member’s partner as they try to preserve their relationship at the cost of their own health (Galovsky & Lyons, 2004; MacDermid Wadsworth et al., 2024).

Family Stability and Parenting Challenges

Though the member’s return home is often a wonderful celebration for families it often comes with its unique challenges as they do not return to the same house that they left. With the presence of OSI’s many new challenges now impact the household. As members attempt to return to their old pre-deployment roles they find it difficult to manage their OSI symptoms and past roles. As their partners and children have gotten used to roles without the member it is difficult for them to give up their learned roles and adapt to the new status quo. Often this lack of control, emotional instability, isolation, and absence of clear communication incites the member’s OSI symptoms which are aimed at the family through outbursts, isolation, or inconsistent boundaries.

As the non-deployed parent and children have gotten used to a particular status quo which has helped them survive the military member now may be seen as an outsider setting new and often out of context rules. Soon the member, rather than their OSI, is seen as the sole problem within the family unit. This aggravates the isolation and withdrawal as well as shame and anger of the member potentially leading to violence, divorce, and at times suicide.

Research has further shown that unresolved childhood trauma can lead to incidence of PSTD during adulthood and behaviours which create further trauma for their own children and thus perpetuating trauma over generations (Galovsky & Lyons, 2004; Skomorovsky & Bullock 2017).

Coping Mechanisms and Support Systems for Spouses

The importance of connection and support provided by the member’s partner is recognized further and further every day by grass roots and by institutions alike. Numerous avenues of care are available including: support groups, military family activities, children’s camps, communication workshops, deployment support, and counselling. Many of these can be found through resources such as the MFRC, OSIC & OSISS, The Legion, Wounded Warriors, Support Our Troops, Getting Better Together: Diversified Rehabilitation Group and Veteran Affairs.

Additionally, preventative strategies for family resilience can be developed prior to dealing with potential challenges. By talking as partners or as a family and creating open channels of communication, non-judgment, compassion and vulnerability adults can become models for children and enable healthy communication habits. Stories of past examples of resilience and overcoming of challenges help families and children to cope during future times of uncertainly. This may be as simple as taking inventory of each family member’s past successes as well as the successes of past generations thereby building resilience and identifying existing coping strategies beyond the immediate timeframe (Newell, 2012).

Most importantly however is identifying and connecting with support which recognizes the unique needs and lifestyle of the military family and spouses before it is too late. Having a holistic program within a safe, understanding, and dedicated environment is one option that can help partners and families navigate and overcome the challenges of OSI caused by military service (Monk et al, 2017).

Conclusion

As isolation, lack of connection, feelings of shame, guilt, and anger persist when experiencing OSI’s it is important that the spouse and family is supported and that besides functional or financial support which may be offered by institutions they need to be heard, and understood. This means that sharing stories and strategies of resilience between new and experienced military families and outer community is paramount (Newel, 2012).

In spite of challenges cause by OSI’s Military families and spouses embody many unique and exceptional qualities and strengths that help them cope with the demands of their partner’s occupation and fortify their family and surrounding communities. These include: adaptability, resilience, passion, loyalty, organizational skills, dependability, and commitment to social improvement. 

Despite existing research on individual OSI and potential effects on family, more research is needed to accommodate families within the Canadian military context, dual military parent families, First Nations and Aboriginal families, the effects of gender, and the barriers between military and non-military communities.

References:

Galovski, T., & Lyons, J. A. (2004). Psychological sequelae of combat violence: A review of the impact of PTSD on the veteran’s family and possible interventions. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 9(5), 477–501. https://0-doi-org.aupac.lib.athabascau.ca/10.1016/S1359-1789(03)00045-4

MacDermid Wadsworth, S. M., Topp, D., Lester, P., Stander, V., Christ, S. L., Whiteman, S., & Knobloch, L. (2024). Long-term consequences of mothers’ and fathers’ wartime deployments: Protocol for a two-wave panel study. PLoS ONE, 19(3), 1–22. https://0-doi-org.aupac.lib.athabascau.ca/10.1371/journal.pone.0295007

Monk, J. K., Oseland, L. M., Nelson Goff, B. S., Ogolsky, B. G., & Summers, K. (2017). Integrative Intensive Retreats for Veteran Couples and Families: A Pilot Study Assessing Change in Relationship Adjustment, Posttraumatic Growth, and Trauma Symptoms. Journal of Marital & Family Therapy, 43(3), 448–462. https://0-doi-org.aupac.lib.athabascau.ca/10.1111/jmft.12230

Newell, J. M. (2012). Addressing the Needs of Veterans and Military Families: A Generalist Practice Approach. Journal of Baccalaureate Social Work, 17, 53–68. https://0-doi-org.aupac.lib.athabascau.ca/10.18084/basw.17.1.0246624pj1051014

Skomorovsky, A., & Bullock, A. (2017). The Impact of Deployment on Children From Canadian Military Families. Armed Forces & Society (0095-327X), 43(4), 654–673. https://0-doi-org.aupac.lib.athabascau.ca/10.1177/0095327X16670691